First I need to indicate that this blog post is response one (1) of four (4) posts and is in reference to the comments made to the previous post, “Feminist with Traditional Values/Beliefs http://brendamarin.blogspot.com/2010/06/feminist-with-traditional-valuesbeliefs.html – Answer to blog post question.” If you haven’t already you may want to read the comments to the mentioned post so that this new post makes sense to you.
Secondly, I think it’s important to describe and reference the type of conference that I was speaking at, as many of the comments on the blog seemed to not take into account the audience this conversation/talk was delivered too. Additionally, many comments were from my lesbian sisters who pointed out a very different female view point and way of family living which I am very appreciative. I want to be encouraged that we as women can find a unified voice no matter the gender of our partner. The conference was a Christian Women’s conference. I was originally asked to speak on the topic of marrying into your husband’s ministry when you yourself have not necessarily heard God speak to you or call you into the same place. Although for Andrew and I this is a true statement, as the organizers of the conference chose something I should have been able to share on because this is my story and journey currently. Though as I prepared for the talk in my spirit I felt I was hearing the Lord say that yes this is a good topic, but I felt the Lord tell me to look into what my generation as women’s legacy is to the next generation. I am 30, well 30 for almost three months, and as I began to do my research I realized that I was one of the first generations to live in a post time period from what historians deem as the three waves of the modern women’s movement. Please do not think I am naïve enough to believe that we as women are not done fighting for equality in the work place, within pay scales, respect from male counterparts, etc. but with regards to how currently the modern women’s movement is described we are the first generation to live fully in the benefits that the women before me had fought so tirelessly as recorded in history beginning yes, some 150+ years ago. Additionally, I was realizing that the young women behind me would be even more a part of this post time period and what am I doing, what is my voice and message to them. My research found many messages to young women (many not very positive or progressive) but not one unifying women’s voice of what we as women represent our strength, our power, our uniqueness, our success, our leadership, etc. I wanted to find out what my generation of women will be remembered for within history based on what today’s young woman looked like, acted like, and are portrayed as. Potentially when they write the “fourth wave” of the modern women’s movement what is it going to say, for me and what I have experienced, read, lived, watched, encountered, talked about etc. I was not happy about what history may write about my women’s legacy.
This is what I felt the Lord was challenging me to talk about with the women at the conference, however, it was still appropriate that I also talk about the subject that I was asked originally to speak about so that is where the blending of marriage, motherhood, legacy, women’s voice, etc. grew from. The question from Andrew’s blog was centered around what I spoke about at that particular conference to that particular audience. I do not meant to offend anyone but my guess the majority of the women at this conference were probably in a heterosexual marriage and with children. I would assume that 99% attending were heterosexuals which also found themselves in a ministry position whether that was as a leader, pastor, staff member, and/or volunteer. What I wrote in the original blog post in response to the question raised on Andrew’s blog I did put in parenthesis, heterosexual relationship, because that was the audience I was speaking to. I also wanted to clarify that in reference to the question raised on Andrew’s blog with regards to why I used the words traditional values/beliefs. Although I am not a mother (the other portion of this blog chronicles my infertility journey), I am a wife in a heterosexual relationship and I was sharing my journey and response in validating the lives of women that I once judged because they were “traditional” in their roles as wives and mothers within their heterosexual relationship. This was a lesson I learned and shared with the other women at the conference that we as women cannot continue to divide, define, and categorize each other in order to figure out how we may be better than other women or that their life choices are not as powerful, successful, and/or important.