Monday, August 5, 2013

Goodbyes and New Beginnings

As many of you know, Andrew and I are moving across the pond to a small village outside of St. Andrews. We are excited and nervous about this new beginning and this great adventure.

My mother and I were talking about our move and she was telling me how scared she would be to even think about moving to another country and I said to her that if it wasn't for both my parents and Andrew's parents investing in our lives so deeply we would not have the courage to take these crazy risks and follow a path less traveled...

However, I have to admit that my heart is heavy. I drove in from my parents house to the city and the day was perfect. The city skyline was majestic. It can be overwhelming, but growing up here has made me brave and adventurous. There is so much to do and to see. Its a city with world renowned restaurants, museums, parks, and theatre, but its also a city with small secrets, special places, and deep memories. Its a city that holds the beginning of Andrew and my life together, the community which has protected and encouraged us, and the friends who have loved and cared for us. This urban jungle is beautiful to me and I love it. It is my security and my familiarity. Its what I understand and what makes me feel full.

But now we are moving to a very different place. I have to admit perhaps Andrew and I are having a small romantic love affair with the idea of living in the country near the sea. It is small and far away from large cities and the constant chaos of life in an urban jungle. It will be a time for Andrew and I to learn more deeply about each other, to learn to slow way down, and to learn to take deep breaths. To listen to the silence and focus on the whispers.

It is also, I am hoping and praying, going to be a time of deep healing for both Andrew and I. For me personally, as I have grown stronger and learned to grieve not possessing the normality of what I hoped for my life, I find my direction and purpose. I am hoping to holistically cleanse my body, soul and heart in search of a fullness in my Lord and Savior and to understand more fully the plans which He has for me...

My goal is to continue with this blog as a diary for me to express my heart and an ability to reflect back and look forward. It is also a space where I hope to share with each of you who continue to read this blog about our adventures in Scotland.

To quote one my most favorite poems by Robert Frost:

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."

Love a perfectly tarnished child of God