I have been in a place of confusion lately which has clouded my ability to formulate any thoughts or conceive a full post. So today I will just simply accept that my heart is empty, but full. That I am in the midst of transformation and I do not know where that transformation will end. To be quite honest I don't even know where it really began. Looking back I can pin point some major events which have from my internal perspective began to shape the woman I am transforming into. It would be easy to say that my journey of infertility has been a big piece and possibly the beginning, but I have reflected on even earlier events which I now know were times which started me on this new path of transformation. But yes in many ways infertility has forced me to do some very deep reflections.
In this time of reflection I have had to ask myself what life is about with regards to success and failures? How do I measure my worth? How do I measure my accomplishments? Who am I? Where do I go from here? What does it mean to be female? What was God's purpose for females?
The beauty and extreme frustration about each of these reflections is that each question each layer offers up more questions and more discoveries. I am working on the day were I can look in the mirror and confidently say that I do not have all the answers, I am enjoying the discovery process, I hope to always enjoy learning more deeply about who I am and what God wants for me, and to love being female...
What are the issues which face females today, here are a few off the top of my confused and clouded head? (no particular order)
1. Body image
5. Culture norms
6. Religious norms
9. Power Struggles
11. Servant hood
15. People pleaser
I could really keep writing more words, but I am curious what do you think we as women are facing and what do the words that I listed mean to you?