These are simply my thoughts...

Sorry all its been awhile since I posted anything. I must admit I have not really been inspired and haven't thought about much. Well maybe in that its been freeing :). I have spent a lot of time with friends and family over the holidays which I needed. I am perfectly fine with admitting that sometimes I really need a good dose of other people to help me along the way because I am not strong enough to carry my life by myself all the time. Sometimes I think we believe especially as women that we have to fight and carry everything on our own shoulders all the time. Trust me I am one of those women. I do not like asking for help and I want to prove always that I can do it and I will be successful, but as I am growing up (which on a side note I hope to never fully do) I am learning how important it is to lean on those around you who love and care for you.

Although I guess I do have something to share...

I have been watching my husband go through some really emotional battles lately. You see his foundation, The Marin Foundation (TMF) had an idea to attend the Chicago Pride Parade with shirts that read Sorry and write posters apologizing for how the "Church" has collectively dehumanized the treatment of the GLBT community. I was one of those who wore a t-shirt because truly as a Christian and follower of Jesus I was very sorry for the pain and scars that my belief system had bestowed upon a group of wonderful and precious people. My heart hurts for those I have met and the stories of their lives they have shared with me because in many cases they are my fellow Christian brothers and sisters which have caused that pain and left those scars.

So on the morning of the Pride Parade my husband and I went with a group of about 25 people from TMF wearing our Sorry t-shirts. Our intentions were simple as is the intentions of the foundation. We were simply people willing to stand in the gap where so many would not even dare to venture. Yes, I will be true to my Christianity and yes I love my Christian brothers and sisters, but I will also be true to my GLBT brothers and sisters and love them as well. I will stand in the gap for those and attempt to build a bridge between these two communities with TMF!

*PLEASE NOTE I AM NOT MAKING ANY OFFICIAL STATEMENT FOR OR ON BEHALF OF TMF - THESE ARE MY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS AS A WIFE, FRIEND, AND FOLLOWER OF CHRIST*

You see this campaign which truly had a message of peace, hope, faith, and forgiveness has been perverted by those that want so badly to find the evil in everything. I understand skepticism because I myself am a big skeptic, but I think its important to know that even in this world which is filled with so much evil and malice intentions that there are still those who love with everything and give relentlessly no matter the cost, pain, humiliation, and turmoil.

TMF does not want in any way shape or form to "change" ones sexual orientation but to transform people's lives in either finding a relationship with Christ for the first time or helping those that have been hurt by the faith community have a place to voice their stories and reconnect with the faith they want so badly to still be a part of.

I think on a personal level, outside of TMF, what is so difficult for others to understand is how important a relationship with Jesus is to both my husband and I. We are not fighting about denominations or religious dogma we are simply celebrating in the awesome power of being a follower of Jesus.

I also wanted to share a bit about my husband. One of the characteristics which I fell in love with and others who meet him also love about him is his child like spirit. I don't mean that he is immature, but he does not judge others with the same cynical lens that most of us have unfortunately began to wear. He loves first and very rarely asks questions. He gives everything to those in his life and expects very little in return. He hurts easily and cries often for the pains others have felt. His skin is very thin and he does wear his emotions on the outside. When you listen you feel through him the words of compassion and challenge. He still doesn't understand that people find what he does so foreign, evil, unproductive, and unrealistic. He willingly shoulders the hurt, criticism, scars, skepticism, joy, celebration, healing of every person who shares their story and life journey with him. Each person who has come to him he etches a piece of them into his heart.

For those who want so badly to hate and be skeptical of TMF and my husband its okay he will etch pieces of you into his heart as well. Our prayers will always be for your protection and happiness. I understand its hard to believe that there truly could be a person like this in today's society and world who has not been covered with the sludge of who we are as a society and world and what we have allowed ourselves to become. I too am amazed at how he can still view this world through eyes of total compassion and love. I want so badly to one day remove the judgmental, skeptical, cynical lenses that cloud my eyes and see this world as my husband does as I believe Jesus sees this world.

So with conviction I say I will stand in the gap with my husband and TMF. I will continue to love relentlessly and share the message that all are loved by our Heavenly Father. I will say I am sorry with the purist intentions. I will elevate the conversation and not answer yes or no to questions because that is too easy and I will follow the path less traveled. I will remain true to who I am and challenge those around me to find a better way to love and communicate. I will build a bridge. I will love those who hate, mistreat, call names, judge, lie, spread rumors, misrepresent, and want to eliminate my husband and TMF.

I will stand in the gap with my husband and TMF...