Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Sorry I have to do it and I am proud of it!!!

Today is my and Andrew's third year wedding anniversary. We were married on November 3, 2007 at 2pm in Naperville, Illinois at the chapel where we both grew up attending church, Calvary Church Naperville. Our reception was held at the Naperville Hilton.

Our story isn't anything special we did however not meet until we were 25 even though we grew up in the same adjacent towns and attended the same church. However, that being said the adjacent towns we grew up in have combined over 300,000 people and now five very large high schools. We did not attend the same high school. The church we grew up in (and forgive me I know the baggage I carry) is what would be described as a small mega church with about 5,000 people in attendance. Our paths didn't cross when we were younger, but they crossed at a perfect time.

I do believe there is perfect timing in everything you see Andrew was the Homecoming King, Mr. Waubonsie(sp), an all star baseball player, and I guess in simplest terms the popular guy. Which makes me want to puke :). I on the other hand was more of an antagonist. I purposely wanted to go in the opposite direction. I was an athlete and played high school soccer and I did have a lot of friends, but I never wanted to be a part of the "in crowd" and was always oddly put off by their conformity to one another (I know go figure). So had we met in high school I can confidently say it would not have been a match made in Heavenly bliss!

Timing no matter good or bad is perfect and there are no mistakes in God's plan even when we are in the midst of great valleys.

These three years have pushed Andrew and I to learn what it means to ultimately decide to share this life journey with someone else. To consistently think about another person and how your actions and/or decisions will affect them. To find ways to encourage each others differences and love to do things together. We have had some major highs and some incredible lows. We are still learning how to work through this thing we call life, but I am happy that WE are working through it together.

I am proud to be married to my husband because we are partners in this life. We have a mutual respect for each other and want to continue to encourage each other to grow within the talents our Lord has blessed us with individually.

He is my lover, my friend, and my partner in life. I love him very much!

4 comments:

Leneita Fix said...

Congratulations! Happy 3rd Anniversary! It only gets better the longer you are in this life together. I just turned to John tonight and said, "I can't be the strong one." He said, "I never asked you to be the strong one. I don't need you to be the strong one, I just need you to walk with me." Perfectly said. Perfectly true. Three different places in the Bible we are told to "leave and cleave" as they say: Old Test., Jesus when he was here, and Paul after Jesus was no longer on earth. I think the one flesh: two halves of a whole, is a powerful vision. It is great to celebrate the journey. 3 years- is just the start!!!

much love- leneita

Turtle Woman said...

I don't celebrate hetero marriage anniversaries now, and won't do this ever until all lesbian and gay couples have equal marriage rights nationwide.

Brenda S. Marin said...

Turtle Woman - I respect your feelings and where you are coming from. Although, I do not think it is fair, I still love and adore my husband and the time we have spent together. Our anniversary date is a time of reflection to look upon the previous year and anticipate the plans we have in this coming year.

Leneit thank you for congrats and kind words! I love your wisdom!!!

Andrew Marin said...

Turtle Woman,

Hi! It's great to finally write something to you. I always appriciate your thoughts, suggestions and life experiences. I know for me, they really do challenge me towards a full and expanded worldview of inclusion.

But I read your comment today and I think it's ridiculous. I don't care that you don't celebtrate hetero marriages.

You're being a hypocrite.

Brenda doesn't know I'm writing this to you..though she will obviously see it when it's posted.

However, she has been nothing but gracious to you. And here you go spitting on her heartfelt words about our relationship. That's wrong. You need to apologize.

Brenda and I have LOTS of LGBT firends who are married/civil unions and/or in committed relationships. We celebtrate those with them everytime because those are real relationships. So is Brenda and mine.

I know Brenda would celebrate with you and your partner every single milestone you both have! That's how much she loves and cares.

You just showed me how much you don't love or don't care about anyone except yourself and your narrow worldview.

I hope realize your arrogance and insensitivity to what she (and I) care tons about through our relationship - just like you care for yours.

What if I were to write to you on your anniversary what you just wrote about us? I don't think you would like it too much; and probably go on some 'hetero-normative' rant. It amazes me how many folks out there love invalidating everyone else, but when someone invalidates them they get offended. Brenda has never, ever, attacked or invalidated you. Don't do it to her (or I or our relationship).

Much love.
Andrew