After reading my post this morning I realized that much of this blog has been filled with my heart ache and the deep struggles and painful experiences I have endured over the last few years.
I wanted this morning to share some of the really amazing and absolutely joyful pieces that have come from this time I have had in waiting on the Lord.
Today, I can confidently say that I am happy. I laugh often. I am renewed by the new and old relationships in my life. I have space and capacity to nurture the new people who have come into my life and have a desire to invest back into the relationships which have bravely stood with me through my struggles.
I am energized by my future no matter how uncertain it feels right now, I am genuinely excited to take the steps into the unknown.
I smile and I smile with everything I have because there is nothing I feel that is dragging me down. I love hard and I hold on hard.
I crave the warm and secure embrace of my husband and the hugs from others. I no longer pull away as I did for so long when a touch felt so painful and it created anxious feelings inside. Now I am free to show, experience, and be a part of the love others want to give me and the love I want to give them.
My healing is not over, but I am healing. I am loving, I am laughing, I am growing... I am taking one step at a time.
I know my life has purpose and I am confident that as I lean on my Creator and let go of all the things which have held me back, as deep and painful as they may be, I will find my way and I will be stronger and more beautiful on the other side.
Love a perfectly tarnished child of God
3 comments:
love this..and you Sis; esp the part about life's uncertainties & taking steps into the unknown. Though we are still getting to know each other, the kinship I have with you and Andy is God-given. A far as the unknown goes, we've received a 'double portion' in this regard and your post gives me strength..apreciate you. Much love
I am so glad to read your post this morning! You are learning great truths about perseverance, Brenda. "Patience" sorta carries the idea of stoicism - I'll get through this by getting numb first. But "perseverance" carries the idea of getting through this by receiving peace. You have received a big dose, and it sure looks good on ya.
Thanks for this post. It is easy to focus on either just the pain or just the pleasure in life, and not to live both at the same time. Another "tension" I suppose we must all live in. Thanks for investing in me as a new friend in your life.
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