Sorry to those who read this blog - We, Andrew and I have had to make some major decisions and begin some major adventures in this life of infertility. I will tell you for those who have never been down this road before it is scary, humiliating, painful, hopeful, emotional, un-natural, wishful, doubtful, consuming, vulnerable...I could simply keep writing all of the feelings I have been having and still they would not do justice to everything that goes into this journey. Not only do I pray every day (mostly as I am driving an hour to work) that our Lord creates healthy, happy, emotionally strong, curious, intelligent, humbled, faithful followers of Christ, but I also pray for realistic expectations and calming moments for myself. We have a long way to go before I am even pregnant and yet my prayers are constant. I pray the Lord will touch my body let it be a perfect, healthy, secure place that one day will be filled with life. Let our home be filled with joy, faithfulness, and love. Let Andrew and I be constant companions and partners in all that we do filled with love that is centered on our Lord. God bless the doctors, nurses, technicians, and specialists, bless their hands, their knowledge, guide them...
*Disclaimer I have no idea how many we will decide to place back in or how many babies we may have although our facility will only do for someone my age two fertilized eggs. Anyway in my prayers I pray for babies because eventually Andrew and I want more then one. If that happens to be two the first time or two different attempts the prayers are the same :)*
Lord let these baby(ies) grow inside of me one day. Bless them with 10 fingers and 10 toes, bless them with strong heart beats, with growing healthy bodies, growing and stimulated brains, touch each of their organs and let them be strong and develop as they are supposed to, Lord bless their skin as it grows over their bodies, touch their eyes and bless them with the ability to see the beauty of this world both outwardly and inwardly, bless their little ears so they may hear the sounds you have created and bless those little ears with the ability to listen to your whispers, bless their smiles so they are inviting and filled with friendly joy, bless their personalities may they each be filled in individualistic wonders and ideas, with adventures and curiosity, give them imaginations that fill their lives with far away lands, give them temperaments that love others and strength to stand up for what is right even when others fall. Give them a heart for you Lord bless them with faithfulness and a desire to continue to walk in your will and follow your path.
Let Andrew and I be the parents that give our children the direction and care you have called us to give. Let us remain humble in the great responsibility you would bestow upon Andrew and I by blessing us with children that they are only ours temporarily as we are guardians in this world on earth. Give us strength to love, discipline, honor, reward, and guide. Give us discernment in understanding our children and the world they will inherit.