Below was a question on Andrew's blog about the talk I gave at Urban Youth Workers' Institute http://www.loveisanorientation.com/2010/brendas-powerful-talk/ (you can see the entire blog post here with other comments)
I wanted to take a moment to write my response. There were no transcripts and it was not recorded so I have to go off of memory and my own thoughts. I understand also that Andrew's audience is a bit different then mine on this blog, but I think for women we need to love each other where ever we find ourselves.
Rachel June 10, 2010 at 2:46 am
I’d really love to know what Brenda’s referring to by ‘traditional beliefs’. Any place we can get the whole transcript?
Response:
When I say traditional beliefs I am validating the idea that if you find yourself as a wife/mother (specifically talking about a heterosexual relationship here, but I think it would work in all relationships) I am okay with being one with the concept that in a Christian home the man is the head of our household. Now let me clarify that in no way means we are subservient to our husbands rules and we have no say within the direction of our home, our values, our worth, our goals, and our desires as women. I understand from my experience in business and within the field I am that there has to be a structure to your organization and in some ways from a very organic/big picture perspective a family is like an organization there has to be a structure. I believe that until we as women understand and strip away the negative meanings behind what traditional values and beliefs mean we will never be able to embrace the concept that we are equal partners in the decisions we make within our relationships. Men require certain (lets say need) encouragement from women in order for them to be successful. Maybe it was one of God’s humorous attributes to make men insecure and in doing that God recognized in His divine wisdom that men needed a “help mate” an equal partner to be there along his side to make sure chaos does not occur. We are to be a balance to one another. We as women need to celebrate our uniqueness and the attributes we bring to a relationship in order to balance it.
My best friend taught me how to humbly appreciate the stay at home mommy who studied a traditional female field (education). I never personally looked down on her because I loved her and knew her worth as an amazing women who has touched and blessed many lives, but I will admit I would place her out of the category as an exception because she was my best friend and judge the rest of the women within this non-career, non-feminist, category as women who did not understand the struggle and fight we as strong, feminist, career oriented, highly educated women must do in order to pursue equality. But watching my best friend and her interactions and the lives she touches every day in her place of significance I realized that we as women simply beat each other up over definitions and meanings of what is traditional beliefs or traditional values.
I believe we look so negatively on these words because we have allowed a male dominated society and patriarchal "Church" culture define what these words are supposed to mean and we as women have turned them into negative messages which we thought were supposed to unify and inspire us to keep fighting for equality but reality we have played right into the hands of the male/patriarchal society and "Church"and allowed it to divide us as women. The unifying message that was supposed to make us angry and push us forward has actually played into our insecurities of judging one another and trying to place all women into categories of who is better than the other.
As single women, women within in relationships and partnerships we still must find our strength in understanding the uniqueness we posses as women. That we must encourage one another with one single unifying voice that we are talented, we are beautiful, we were all created in God’s perfect image to play a significant influential role in where we find ourselves. We need to encourage women in all walks of life and not find ways to divide and judge. We as women have allowed ourselves to become over sexualized in the name of a new found femininity, but our femininity should not be defined but what our bodies look like or what we can do sexually to our partners. We need to teach this next generation to embrace what makes us different from men, what makes us successful as women, and it’s okay to follow and have traditional beliefs or values of what a partnership is within scripture. We need to understand what our legacy will be to the next generation of young women. No you do not have to be married or follow what is deemed “appropriate” by church or society and you can still be used in great ways to where ever you feel God has called you.
All this to say that I am secure in who God made me, what He has called me to do and be, the talents He has blessed me with, the goals I have accomplished, the professional success I have had, the high education I have received that I am okay with saying I am a feminist with traditional values and beliefs. I embrace the concept that within a relationship there is a partnership where you have one general and one second in command (I don’t know the military term for the second in command). They have equally important positions vital to accomplishing the mission or task at hand in order to guarantee its success. They equally discuss the plan of action and challenge one another for the best outcome. The general may deliver the message but the two of them together lead there team. That team maybe your family, your mission, your office, your calling, your relationship, your partnership, etc.
I am strong, I am beautiful, I am talented, I have been on a long journey to be able to love all women in all different places which all have equal significance and influence. We need to love one another for what we were created to be and not believe those are hindering descriptions but rather uplifting celebrations of how to live this life in the most significant and Godly way.
So women I am curious what are your thoughts?
Thursday, June 10, 2010
My Talk at the Women's Re: Conference with Urban Youth Workers Institute
My husband, Andrew Marin posted this (link)http://www.loveisanorientation.com/2010/brendas-powerful-talk/ on his blog about the talk I did in Miami. These were some of the tweats he sent out during the conversation. There was a question asked about what I meant about traditional beliefs/values and I will answer that question in the next blog post. However, I thought I would post this first. I hope you enjoy! It was a very exciting time for me and I was humbled that Urban Youth Workers Institute invited me to share. I must admit I was definitely bit with the speaking bug because I would love to do it some more!!! So if anyone out there needs a female speaker at their event I am your woman!!!
Brenda’s Powerful Talk
June 9, 2010 · 5 comments
Oh how I wish you all could have been in Miami on Friday when Brenda brought the house down. For those of you who aren’t on Twitter (I am @LovesMeSomeYou), here are some of the comments I tweeted from her talk about living distinctly within the realms of feminism, the church and culture:
“This (homosexuality/bridge building) might be Andrew’s calling, but it has become our ministry.”
“Women should never be a ‘yes’ person. We’re not just a help-mate, we’re more. We’re equal partners & have to start reclaiming that outlook.”
“All the women in the Bible used their knowledge, power and influence (whether big or small) to get their Kingdom jobs finished. That’s a model for me.”
“Feminist isn’t a bad word. But it’s become one in the Church so men could stay in power. I’m a feminist with traditional values and that scares people.”
“I’m in the first female generation that the feminist movement fought for, and we’re still empty and searching to find ourselves…”
“Thank you Lord for blessing woman with such uniqueness. Who cares if the church or culture gets it or not.”
“Christians call me an Alpha-Female. I prefer to say I’m a ‘hard-lined compassionate’. The incredible part about knowing yourself in Christ is that it makes you strong!”
“I told myself I wasn’t going to be defined by what was traditionally expected of me….”
“I was going to do and be whatever I wanted to be and accomplish all of my goals no matter the cultural or Church disgust. And I STILL love the Lord! Many feel that combination of things is impossible.”
“There’s a vision for the future to combine femininity and traditional beliefs. Until we woman believe that it’s never going to happen.”
Much love.
Brenda’s Powerful Talk
June 9, 2010 · 5 comments
Oh how I wish you all could have been in Miami on Friday when Brenda brought the house down. For those of you who aren’t on Twitter (I am @LovesMeSomeYou), here are some of the comments I tweeted from her talk about living distinctly within the realms of feminism, the church and culture:
“This (homosexuality/bridge building) might be Andrew’s calling, but it has become our ministry.”
“Women should never be a ‘yes’ person. We’re not just a help-mate, we’re more. We’re equal partners & have to start reclaiming that outlook.”
“All the women in the Bible used their knowledge, power and influence (whether big or small) to get their Kingdom jobs finished. That’s a model for me.”
“Feminist isn’t a bad word. But it’s become one in the Church so men could stay in power. I’m a feminist with traditional values and that scares people.”
“I’m in the first female generation that the feminist movement fought for, and we’re still empty and searching to find ourselves…”
“Thank you Lord for blessing woman with such uniqueness. Who cares if the church or culture gets it or not.”
“Christians call me an Alpha-Female. I prefer to say I’m a ‘hard-lined compassionate’. The incredible part about knowing yourself in Christ is that it makes you strong!”
“I told myself I wasn’t going to be defined by what was traditionally expected of me….”
“I was going to do and be whatever I wanted to be and accomplish all of my goals no matter the cultural or Church disgust. And I STILL love the Lord! Many feel that combination of things is impossible.”
“There’s a vision for the future to combine femininity and traditional beliefs. Until we woman believe that it’s never going to happen.”
Much love.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Closed Off
I must admit that as a female you would think that I would want to surround myself with other women as we technically were created to enjoy the companionship of others and collectively as women we feel stronger, loved, secure, when we are with one another. Sometimes I think I find myself in a world all my own. Which in a western, individualistic society probably doesn't sound so bad. Plus I do enjoy that I like to walk to the beat of my own drummer. However...
After spending time sharing and speaking with Andrew at a conference in Miami called Re: put on by the Urban Youth Workers Institute (which hopefully they will continue with this conference and I want to tell other women it is worth investing in to attend because we really need to learn to re:invest in ourselves more often - okay no more plugs) I realized that I really needed to not close myself off anymore. So many have called, written on my blog, facebooked, texted and emailed. Thank you, thank you, thank you -
I know that I am not alone in this journey and that there are many many other women who have come before me and unfortunately there will be women who will come after me. I don't know why I shut myself in and couldn't bring myself to be surrounded by the wonderful company that is a group of strong, beautiful women. The conference was a women's conference which for a long time I stayed far away from. I don't know why a room full of women makes me personally far more uncomfortable than a room full of men. Maybe its because we so quickly judge one another and small talk really is not a women's "thing" which means we probably subconsciously put up walls to new comers. I know I do, and I don't mean to do it. So anyway back to this conference...It was wonderful all walls were down. The veils which we tend to hide behind were lifted and we were a group of women striving to find peace, relaxation, renewal in being unique people created in God's perfect image. It was a time to regenerate the female soul to encourage women to continue down the path of leadership, empowerment, and beauty where ever they find themselves even when a glass ceiling seems so thick. God thankfully called us all to do His work and we are all perfect (well with a lot of imperfect qualities) servants of the Lord.
But for me the most important aspect was realizing the need for good girl friends in my life. I need to extend myself to places that make me uncomfortable because selfishly I need good girlfriends right now in my life and from that I will hopefully be able to also extend the gift of what it means to be a good girlfriend to other women.
So with this lesson I want to extend a big thank you to all of those who have reached out. I have read your comments and I have cried knowing how much people care. The emotions I guess at the time were to raw and I didn't know how to express the disappointment. But all of your words were so encouraging.
I will continue to blog about our progress with infertility, but I am also going to chronicle my time really diving head first in reconnecting with old girlfriends and making new ones. Pray with me for this new journey as well. For me its way out of my comfort zone, but thanks to a very unlikely place at a Christian Women's Conference I learned the importance of having a solid group of women around me to mentor me, to help me, to encourage me and for me to give back with the same amount of emotion, connection and desire to speak into their lives as well.
After spending time sharing and speaking with Andrew at a conference in Miami called Re: put on by the Urban Youth Workers Institute (which hopefully they will continue with this conference and I want to tell other women it is worth investing in to attend because we really need to learn to re:invest in ourselves more often - okay no more plugs) I realized that I really needed to not close myself off anymore. So many have called, written on my blog, facebooked, texted and emailed. Thank you, thank you, thank you -
I know that I am not alone in this journey and that there are many many other women who have come before me and unfortunately there will be women who will come after me. I don't know why I shut myself in and couldn't bring myself to be surrounded by the wonderful company that is a group of strong, beautiful women. The conference was a women's conference which for a long time I stayed far away from. I don't know why a room full of women makes me personally far more uncomfortable than a room full of men. Maybe its because we so quickly judge one another and small talk really is not a women's "thing" which means we probably subconsciously put up walls to new comers. I know I do, and I don't mean to do it. So anyway back to this conference...It was wonderful all walls were down. The veils which we tend to hide behind were lifted and we were a group of women striving to find peace, relaxation, renewal in being unique people created in God's perfect image. It was a time to regenerate the female soul to encourage women to continue down the path of leadership, empowerment, and beauty where ever they find themselves even when a glass ceiling seems so thick. God thankfully called us all to do His work and we are all perfect (well with a lot of imperfect qualities) servants of the Lord.
But for me the most important aspect was realizing the need for good girl friends in my life. I need to extend myself to places that make me uncomfortable because selfishly I need good girlfriends right now in my life and from that I will hopefully be able to also extend the gift of what it means to be a good girlfriend to other women.
So with this lesson I want to extend a big thank you to all of those who have reached out. I have read your comments and I have cried knowing how much people care. The emotions I guess at the time were to raw and I didn't know how to express the disappointment. But all of your words were so encouraging.
I will continue to blog about our progress with infertility, but I am also going to chronicle my time really diving head first in reconnecting with old girlfriends and making new ones. Pray with me for this new journey as well. For me its way out of my comfort zone, but thanks to a very unlikely place at a Christian Women's Conference I learned the importance of having a solid group of women around me to mentor me, to help me, to encourage me and for me to give back with the same amount of emotion, connection and desire to speak into their lives as well.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Anxiety - Pain - Anticipation - Negative
Where do I even begin...
Andrew and I went through with the first IVF procedure. On Mother's Day, which I thought was an awesome gift from God, I went in for the retrieval procedure. I didn't know what to expect and was quite nervous. I have been quite fortunate to not have many surgeries or even any hospital stays. In fact, the only surgery I really ever had was having my wisdom teeth removed (all four impacted). Anyway, my heart was racing as I was filled with some anxiety over what was about to happen. It was racing so fast that they had to postpone for a bit until I was able to calm myself down. I began to relax as much as I could and my heart rate came down. I was wheeled into the procedure room where they began the retrieval. I was told that it shouldn't hurt and if it did to let the anesthesiologist know and they would give me more drugs. Right away I could feel the pain and told them it hurt. They put more medication into my IV. Only a short bit after that I informed them again that it hurt quite a bit and they put even more into my IV. The second dose put me out completely. I remember the anesthesiologist rubbing my hand and saying its going to be okay just hold on and we will put in some more medication.
I woke up in a daze still in the procedure room. One of the doctors gave me my first progesterone shot and then they wheeled me back to the recovery area. I slept for a bit on and off and then they gave me juice and crackers and Andrew was brought back. He said I looked yellow and awful. I felt awful. The pain in my stomach was terrible and I was incredible nauseous. The doctor who performed the surgery came in to apologize with how difficult it was because apparently my ovaries were had to get at and they really had to put some effort into it. He said I would probably be quite sore (yeah he was not kidding). They were able to remove 14 eggs. Andrew took me home where I threw up from the medications. Andrew was a dear and had to clean it up. I laid all day with a heating pad on my stomach. I stayed home from work on Monday and wished I had stayed home on Tuesday too because of the pain. We received a call from the doctor's office which said of the 14 eggs removed, 11 were mature enough, and 10 fertilized. I was so excited!
On Wednesday, May 12th we went in for the implant procedure. It was quite easy like a pap smear. I would do that 1,000 times over and hoped to never ever have to do the retrieval again. The doctor who did the implant told me that my eggs were a mish mash of qaulity and that the two they were implanting were the best of the bunch. He graded them an A-/B+. Hey thats better than average right?!? Andrew and I after the procedure went to a movie "Date Night" and then home to rest. I stayed home from work on Thursday to rest as well. Andrew has been taking incredible care of me. He hasn't been scared at all about giving me the shots in the butt every night. Those progesterone shots are awful, but I will do anything for the baby(babies) we may have...
Friday I attempted to go to work but needed to leave half way through because of the pain I was still feeling. I took the rest of the day to rest and then did very little over the weekend. I was with my parents because Andrew had to go out of town. Lets just say my parents were not as good at giving shots as Andrew, but again its okay...I kept telling myself it would be worth it...
On Saturday, May 15th I received a call from my doctor's office letting me know that none of the remaining eight fertilized eggs made it and we would not be freezing any. I thought at the time that is okay because I know I am pregnant with one or two babies...
On Saturday May 22nd I went in for the pregnancy test. I was feeling so confident. We and so many others had been praying for this miracle and this or these lives. I was soooo happy. I even bought Andrew a congrats you're a daddy gift. I just knew for sure that they were going to call to tell me the test was positive. Andrew and I felt like this was going to be a life changing time and moment. He unfortunately was in CA for work, but thats okay we were going to celebrate when he came home...
The call came in about 1pm with the news. It was negative. I was not pregnant. I know doctor's offices have to just give you the facts but the cold delivery was devastating. My heart felt like in that moment it was ripped out of my body kicked around stomped on and put back in bruised and in pieces. Why, why can't I have children naturally, I don't smoke, I only drink maybe once or twice a year, I am healthy, I am strong...Why would IVF not work for me, why would we come this far, use up so much time and finances to hear the words the test was negative. I am trying to understand the lesson I am to learn from our Lord. I still praise him for my family and friends which have given so much support, but I am human and I have to ask why.
So today I am trying to learn what it means to lean on our Lord even when I don't understand His plan or His outcome right now. I am trying to be confident in knowing His plan is divine for my and Andrew's life. I am trying to learn to be faithful and lean on His wisdom and plan for my life.
Andrew and I have not yet talked about our next steps, but I am confident it will be based in prayer and love between Andrew, myself, and our Lord.
Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers. We really need them at this time :)
Andrew and I went through with the first IVF procedure. On Mother's Day, which I thought was an awesome gift from God, I went in for the retrieval procedure. I didn't know what to expect and was quite nervous. I have been quite fortunate to not have many surgeries or even any hospital stays. In fact, the only surgery I really ever had was having my wisdom teeth removed (all four impacted). Anyway, my heart was racing as I was filled with some anxiety over what was about to happen. It was racing so fast that they had to postpone for a bit until I was able to calm myself down. I began to relax as much as I could and my heart rate came down. I was wheeled into the procedure room where they began the retrieval. I was told that it shouldn't hurt and if it did to let the anesthesiologist know and they would give me more drugs. Right away I could feel the pain and told them it hurt. They put more medication into my IV. Only a short bit after that I informed them again that it hurt quite a bit and they put even more into my IV. The second dose put me out completely. I remember the anesthesiologist rubbing my hand and saying its going to be okay just hold on and we will put in some more medication.
I woke up in a daze still in the procedure room. One of the doctors gave me my first progesterone shot and then they wheeled me back to the recovery area. I slept for a bit on and off and then they gave me juice and crackers and Andrew was brought back. He said I looked yellow and awful. I felt awful. The pain in my stomach was terrible and I was incredible nauseous. The doctor who performed the surgery came in to apologize with how difficult it was because apparently my ovaries were had to get at and they really had to put some effort into it. He said I would probably be quite sore (yeah he was not kidding). They were able to remove 14 eggs. Andrew took me home where I threw up from the medications. Andrew was a dear and had to clean it up. I laid all day with a heating pad on my stomach. I stayed home from work on Monday and wished I had stayed home on Tuesday too because of the pain. We received a call from the doctor's office which said of the 14 eggs removed, 11 were mature enough, and 10 fertilized. I was so excited!
On Wednesday, May 12th we went in for the implant procedure. It was quite easy like a pap smear. I would do that 1,000 times over and hoped to never ever have to do the retrieval again. The doctor who did the implant told me that my eggs were a mish mash of qaulity and that the two they were implanting were the best of the bunch. He graded them an A-/B+. Hey thats better than average right?!? Andrew and I after the procedure went to a movie "Date Night" and then home to rest. I stayed home from work on Thursday to rest as well. Andrew has been taking incredible care of me. He hasn't been scared at all about giving me the shots in the butt every night. Those progesterone shots are awful, but I will do anything for the baby(babies) we may have...
Friday I attempted to go to work but needed to leave half way through because of the pain I was still feeling. I took the rest of the day to rest and then did very little over the weekend. I was with my parents because Andrew had to go out of town. Lets just say my parents were not as good at giving shots as Andrew, but again its okay...I kept telling myself it would be worth it...
On Saturday, May 15th I received a call from my doctor's office letting me know that none of the remaining eight fertilized eggs made it and we would not be freezing any. I thought at the time that is okay because I know I am pregnant with one or two babies...
On Saturday May 22nd I went in for the pregnancy test. I was feeling so confident. We and so many others had been praying for this miracle and this or these lives. I was soooo happy. I even bought Andrew a congrats you're a daddy gift. I just knew for sure that they were going to call to tell me the test was positive. Andrew and I felt like this was going to be a life changing time and moment. He unfortunately was in CA for work, but thats okay we were going to celebrate when he came home...
The call came in about 1pm with the news. It was negative. I was not pregnant. I know doctor's offices have to just give you the facts but the cold delivery was devastating. My heart felt like in that moment it was ripped out of my body kicked around stomped on and put back in bruised and in pieces. Why, why can't I have children naturally, I don't smoke, I only drink maybe once or twice a year, I am healthy, I am strong...Why would IVF not work for me, why would we come this far, use up so much time and finances to hear the words the test was negative. I am trying to understand the lesson I am to learn from our Lord. I still praise him for my family and friends which have given so much support, but I am human and I have to ask why.
So today I am trying to learn what it means to lean on our Lord even when I don't understand His plan or His outcome right now. I am trying to be confident in knowing His plan is divine for my and Andrew's life. I am trying to learn to be faithful and lean on His wisdom and plan for my life.
Andrew and I have not yet talked about our next steps, but I am confident it will be based in prayer and love between Andrew, myself, and our Lord.
Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers. We really need them at this time :)
Monday, May 3, 2010
Lessons Learning :)
Yes, I know the title of this blog is grammatically incorrect. However, as in life I am constantly learning new things and hope to always be discovering, learning, experiencing until the end.
Okay that being said. I wanted to pass on a few lessons I am learning through this whole infertility process. Infertility is expensive. There is no way around the cost and it truly is very unfair that so many are not able to even attempt the procedures because the cost is so prohibitive. I wish I had some awesome advice on grants and loans on how to pay for the procedure or possibly a less expensive clinic or option, but that I have not discovered yet. But if you find yourself wanting to try the infertility journey these are some of the cost saving methods I am learning (or wish I had learned before). Just to be clear and honest through my insurance I do have an infertility benefit, but it has a very small lifetime maximum so I have had to be diligent in watching every penny and asking some very embarrassing questions about cost and medical necessity and if I can pay for this procedure out of pocket or on a payment plan.
So here are the lessons:
1. Your OBGYN can run a lot of the preliminary tests for you and you can request (or demand) that he/she bill out as medical necessity for pre-pregnancy testing. Most of us have OBGYN coverage and most of the time these items are covered by our insurance. So if you do not have infertility coverage or if you are like me and have a very limited amount of coverage this is a way to have your insurance pay or have it not be billed against your infertility maximums
2. Always ask what the cost of a procedure or test is going to be. Talk to your doctor about the medical necessity. Ask if you paid out of pocket for this procedure what would be the cost and request to have it not be billed against your insurance
3. The medications are horribly expensive so again humble yourself and beg for samples that may be available. They are always getting samples in from the drug companies and usually they have a pack or two you can potentially bum off of them :)
4. Call around for the cost associated with the medications. Different companies definitely have different prices. Plus the clinic you are with should be able to suggest the drug company they work closer with and that company should have a discounted rate
5. Be honest with your doctor about your finances. You would be surprised at how they can work with you or be flexible with payments. They do care and they do want to see you have a child
Okay those are the lessons I am learning with regards to finances. To watch the cost I have created a spreadsheet which adds up the total cost and subtracts away from the total lifetime cap that I have with my insurance. I hope this helps some of you...
Okay that being said. I wanted to pass on a few lessons I am learning through this whole infertility process. Infertility is expensive. There is no way around the cost and it truly is very unfair that so many are not able to even attempt the procedures because the cost is so prohibitive. I wish I had some awesome advice on grants and loans on how to pay for the procedure or possibly a less expensive clinic or option, but that I have not discovered yet. But if you find yourself wanting to try the infertility journey these are some of the cost saving methods I am learning (or wish I had learned before). Just to be clear and honest through my insurance I do have an infertility benefit, but it has a very small lifetime maximum so I have had to be diligent in watching every penny and asking some very embarrassing questions about cost and medical necessity and if I can pay for this procedure out of pocket or on a payment plan.
So here are the lessons:
1. Your OBGYN can run a lot of the preliminary tests for you and you can request (or demand) that he/she bill out as medical necessity for pre-pregnancy testing. Most of us have OBGYN coverage and most of the time these items are covered by our insurance. So if you do not have infertility coverage or if you are like me and have a very limited amount of coverage this is a way to have your insurance pay or have it not be billed against your infertility maximums
2. Always ask what the cost of a procedure or test is going to be. Talk to your doctor about the medical necessity. Ask if you paid out of pocket for this procedure what would be the cost and request to have it not be billed against your insurance
3. The medications are horribly expensive so again humble yourself and beg for samples that may be available. They are always getting samples in from the drug companies and usually they have a pack or two you can potentially bum off of them :)
4. Call around for the cost associated with the medications. Different companies definitely have different prices. Plus the clinic you are with should be able to suggest the drug company they work closer with and that company should have a discounted rate
5. Be honest with your doctor about your finances. You would be surprised at how they can work with you or be flexible with payments. They do care and they do want to see you have a child
Okay those are the lessons I am learning with regards to finances. To watch the cost I have created a spreadsheet which adds up the total cost and subtracts away from the total lifetime cap that I have with my insurance. I hope this helps some of you...
Monday, April 19, 2010
Oh My Gosh I am Speaking at a Conference - Calling all Women!!!
Wow this life is crazy with its many ups and downs, twists and turns...One of those amazing twists and turns will be happening June 3-5, 2010 in Miami, Florida where I will be speaking at a women's conference put on by Urban Youth Workers Institute. The women's conference is specifically called: "The re: re:fresh, re:lax, re:sort - Whats your re?" I would like to encourage all of the female readers of this blog to check it out at http://www.thereconference.com/
I clicked on the About re page and this is what it says:
Relate: Women connecting with other women walking out life in service to the city
Release: Women joining together to lay aside what they do and be reminded of why they are
Relax: Women soaking in the tanquil setting of lush palm trees beside cool waters
Redefine: Women seeing that the word "conference" has an entirely new meaning
Rejuvenate: Women uniting with other women to witness a renewal of the soul
Refresh: Women connecting with other women to replenish themselves mind, body, and spirit
GIVEWAYS: Including Spa Packages, Massages, Pedicures and Manicures
"The re" conference
In its inaugural year, this unique conference defines itself as the "unconference." The idea behind "The re" is that it be a weekend of connection and growth for women serving in the urban context. The luxurious atmosphere of the Doral Spa and Resort in Miami, FL invites all the participants to be pampered in mind, body, and spirit. From the moment women arrive they will find their "connecting point," groups of women where they fit. Women are free to find as many connecting points as they desire throughout the weekend, and there will be plenty of opportunities to mingle and go deep.
Through the "WORTH" shops women will be given the opportunity to learn and grow in topics specifically addressing the needs of women who serve in the city. These two hour sessions will intentionally engage the participant in interactive discussion with plenty of space to apply all they learn.
The weekend is overflowing with opportunities for you to find your "re." We will be sitting, standing, resting, teaching, recharging, learning, pampering, connecting with our Lord and Savior and so much more. Come and create your own experience.
There is still room for women to sign up to attend. I would love to see familar faces and meet lots of new ones that really only know me either through this blog or through Andrew my husband...Plus I must admit I could use all the encouragement as I am already a bit nervous.
Additionally, as one who has steared clear of conferences especially women's conference I feel it is important to share with each of you how different and special I believe this conference will be (oh and not just because I am going to be there) Truly I think this will be a different type of conference that allows time for questions, discussions, and encouragement. Also I believe it will be a conference that not only will give real world experiences but also time to dive much deeper into how one can apply the topics that are being discussed...
Okay ladies plus the best part is its at a Spa in Miami how much better can that be!!!
I really hope you take the time to check out the website and I really hope you can try to attend...Let me know if you are by commenting on this blog...
I can't wait to see you in Miami!
I clicked on the About re page and this is what it says:
Relate: Women connecting with other women walking out life in service to the city
Release: Women joining together to lay aside what they do and be reminded of why they are
Relax: Women soaking in the tanquil setting of lush palm trees beside cool waters
Redefine: Women seeing that the word "conference" has an entirely new meaning
Rejuvenate: Women uniting with other women to witness a renewal of the soul
Refresh: Women connecting with other women to replenish themselves mind, body, and spirit
GIVEWAYS: Including Spa Packages, Massages, Pedicures and Manicures
"The re" conference
In its inaugural year, this unique conference defines itself as the "unconference." The idea behind "The re" is that it be a weekend of connection and growth for women serving in the urban context. The luxurious atmosphere of the Doral Spa and Resort in Miami, FL invites all the participants to be pampered in mind, body, and spirit. From the moment women arrive they will find their "connecting point," groups of women where they fit. Women are free to find as many connecting points as they desire throughout the weekend, and there will be plenty of opportunities to mingle and go deep.
Through the "WORTH" shops women will be given the opportunity to learn and grow in topics specifically addressing the needs of women who serve in the city. These two hour sessions will intentionally engage the participant in interactive discussion with plenty of space to apply all they learn.
The weekend is overflowing with opportunities for you to find your "re." We will be sitting, standing, resting, teaching, recharging, learning, pampering, connecting with our Lord and Savior and so much more. Come and create your own experience.
There is still room for women to sign up to attend. I would love to see familar faces and meet lots of new ones that really only know me either through this blog or through Andrew my husband...Plus I must admit I could use all the encouragement as I am already a bit nervous.
Additionally, as one who has steared clear of conferences especially women's conference I feel it is important to share with each of you how different and special I believe this conference will be (oh and not just because I am going to be there) Truly I think this will be a different type of conference that allows time for questions, discussions, and encouragement. Also I believe it will be a conference that not only will give real world experiences but also time to dive much deeper into how one can apply the topics that are being discussed...
Okay ladies plus the best part is its at a Spa in Miami how much better can that be!!!
I really hope you take the time to check out the website and I really hope you can try to attend...Let me know if you are by commenting on this blog...
I can't wait to see you in Miami!
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Reclaiming Female Vulnerability (or simply human vulnerability)
Since Andrew and I are in a deciding and waiting period of what to do next with our IVF procedure -
I thought I would "blog" some thoughts.
I am going to simply take a stab at blogging on completely different subjects. This particular subject matter has baffled me for some time as I am now 30 years old...Yes all it is true I have left my twenties and feel as if I am about to begin a brand new adventure...although, I am still waiting for the wisdom fairy to come down and hit me over the head or sprinkle some glitter on me and give me "grown up" knowledge and thoughts...Oh well until then I don't want to grow up!
Okay back to some seriousness now...The word vulnerable has confused me in this modern day and age especially as a female. The word vulnerable for a long period of time has made my skin crawl and I could not ever imagine describing myself with such a term. According to Webster the first definition of vulnerable was capable of being wounded...Taken at face value the words would symbolize one that is weak and we as humans and especially as women in today's society should seek to not be vulnerable and should strive to prove our worthiness, strength, experience, capability, etc. Additionally I would say simply that I do not wish to put myself in positions where I am taken advantage of or may find myself vulnerable to an unpleasant experience. However, as I reflect I wonder what does it mean spiritually as a woman to be able to be vulnerable in this world and still understand we have a divine purpose. I must admit as Easter has come and gone I find myself wondering would I have been as vulnerable as Jesus...
As a woman being on this earth for the past 30 years I have celebrated in the "tough" exterior that I put forth, but maybe it is with age or maybe its the awesomeness of relationships the Lord has given to me, that I have come to realize as humans we are incredibly vulnerable and that is what makes us beautiful. I want to be open and capable of being wounded because that means I have put myself out there holding nothing back. I am loving with everything my Lord has shown me I am giving because the Lord has allowed my cup to be filled in abundance and it is over flowing in my life and I need to share it with others who also are vulnerable.
From a female perspective allowing myself to be vulnerable with my husband is giving myself fully to him and trusting him in loving, respecting, cherishing, and protecting me. No I do not believe my husband will intentionally hurt me, but because I am willing to go all in I am also willing to know that because I love with everything I am open to being wounded.
The most wonderful part in all of this is when we give all of ourselves to the Lord we will be wounded. Jesus did not paint a rosy picture and being a complete follower of Christ is not easy, but we must be vulnerable enough to follow in His divine calling. Women we must be complete enough that we trust our Lord even in the most vulnerable of feelings and places. I would describe myself as a bit of a feminist, I believe in equality, I have studied and furthered my education, I have successfully climbed corporate ladders, and today I am also going to say I am content in being vulnerable in the arms of my Lord and Savior. It is not weak but a wholeness of understanding to give all is to know that there will be times of pain and sorrow but there is hope and my God is awesome and the times of celebration and joy will be so much greater!
I thought I would "blog" some thoughts.
I am going to simply take a stab at blogging on completely different subjects. This particular subject matter has baffled me for some time as I am now 30 years old...Yes all it is true I have left my twenties and feel as if I am about to begin a brand new adventure...although, I am still waiting for the wisdom fairy to come down and hit me over the head or sprinkle some glitter on me and give me "grown up" knowledge and thoughts...Oh well until then I don't want to grow up!
Okay back to some seriousness now...The word vulnerable has confused me in this modern day and age especially as a female. The word vulnerable for a long period of time has made my skin crawl and I could not ever imagine describing myself with such a term. According to Webster the first definition of vulnerable was capable of being wounded...Taken at face value the words would symbolize one that is weak and we as humans and especially as women in today's society should seek to not be vulnerable and should strive to prove our worthiness, strength, experience, capability, etc. Additionally I would say simply that I do not wish to put myself in positions where I am taken advantage of or may find myself vulnerable to an unpleasant experience. However, as I reflect I wonder what does it mean spiritually as a woman to be able to be vulnerable in this world and still understand we have a divine purpose. I must admit as Easter has come and gone I find myself wondering would I have been as vulnerable as Jesus...
As a woman being on this earth for the past 30 years I have celebrated in the "tough" exterior that I put forth, but maybe it is with age or maybe its the awesomeness of relationships the Lord has given to me, that I have come to realize as humans we are incredibly vulnerable and that is what makes us beautiful. I want to be open and capable of being wounded because that means I have put myself out there holding nothing back. I am loving with everything my Lord has shown me I am giving because the Lord has allowed my cup to be filled in abundance and it is over flowing in my life and I need to share it with others who also are vulnerable.
From a female perspective allowing myself to be vulnerable with my husband is giving myself fully to him and trusting him in loving, respecting, cherishing, and protecting me. No I do not believe my husband will intentionally hurt me, but because I am willing to go all in I am also willing to know that because I love with everything I am open to being wounded.
The most wonderful part in all of this is when we give all of ourselves to the Lord we will be wounded. Jesus did not paint a rosy picture and being a complete follower of Christ is not easy, but we must be vulnerable enough to follow in His divine calling. Women we must be complete enough that we trust our Lord even in the most vulnerable of feelings and places. I would describe myself as a bit of a feminist, I believe in equality, I have studied and furthered my education, I have successfully climbed corporate ladders, and today I am also going to say I am content in being vulnerable in the arms of my Lord and Savior. It is not weak but a wholeness of understanding to give all is to know that there will be times of pain and sorrow but there is hope and my God is awesome and the times of celebration and joy will be so much greater!
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